Is that it?

Really? That’s it? It’s all over? Back to business as usual? No, surely not?!!

OK admittedly, perhaps not quite business as usual. I know we should still work from home where we can; we have to queue everywhere and rough hands from all the cleansing is now the norm; the pubs won’t be opening for a while and restaurants haven’t made up their mind yet; actually, neither have schools really. But there is definitely a shift happening. The roads are certainly busier; most of the shops are open; sports clubs are gearing up for training, and apparently the premier league is back on; and we can have small groups of people to our homes, so hey, let’s get out there and socialise, catch up, check in!!!

Except I’m not ready for that. Because you know how I said I’d paint the downstairs loo and tidy the skirting boards? Well, I never got to do that. And you might recall that I suggested I’d lose the stone I gained in the first half of covid? Well, that’s still resolutely where I put it. And as for that knitting project I began? Yes, I’m afraid it’s unfinished. The easel never left the attic; the book remains unwritten; the adventurous new recipes have not been tested, and my life still feels in hold.

I feel such a failure. I wasn’t productive during lock down. I didn’t finish anything. I didn’t start so many things. I stayed static. I trod water. I have failed, been negligent, and actually, God forbid, committed laziness.

Would it be really bad if I hoped for it to continue, just a little bit longer, so I can tick something, anything off my list? So I can feel like I’ve been achieved something in lock down?