Longitude 2019

Another year, another Longitude Festival, the annual music event held in my local park in South Dublin. Some things most definitely remain consistent: the scrubbed, waxed, oiled and bronzed bodies; the total commitment to adherence to this years’ fashion uniform irrespective of whether it enhances or diminishes; the meticulous attention to eye brow shaping; the enduring philosophy that ‘less is more’, and the diversity of body types: fat ones; thin ones; brown ones; orange ones, streaky ones. And then there are the girls……

Our GAA club receives a bucket load of dosh for supplying volunteers around the perimeter of the festival, our job being to minimise disruption for residents.  Given the benefits of the club enjoyed by my kids, I feel obliged to put in a few hours. And besides, it’s fantastic people watching!  Given this is my fourth-year volunteering, I like to think I’m beginning to pick up on the fashion nuances, and so see this as my annual education into what’s currently hip amongst with young people.

The guys are channelling Miami Vice this year – lots of brightly coloured shirts, often with matching shorts, and occasionally even matching hats. Shirts must be worn unbuttoned to at least the waist or preferably not buttoned at all, but left flapping in the wind… all the better to see the bronzed, oiled, toned and muscled up six pack beneath. Or, as is more often the case, the pale, skinny rib cage and three inches of boxer shorts. 

Girls of course have greater style choices, so there are pretty floral dresses, often with hefty DMs which look very sensible as well as cute; loads of neon, especially combats; tie- dyed t- shirts (also seen on the guys); really short shorts; and lots and lots of bikini tops. There is also a lot of white amongst the colourful outfits and as the misty rain seeps through us all, I can’t help wondering where all the false tan will end up.  Will the grass in Marley park look rusty after this? Or will it be absorbed into the acrylic and nylon of the passing fashion show?

And just for the craic, here are some comments overheard at Longitude 2019:

– I swear man, Love Island is the best thing ever;

– I just puked all over my shoes. It looks like Ribena;

– I’d ask her out, but she’d say no.

– where the f**k are you?

– my phone’s dead. Can I borrow yours?

– No, I haven’t been drinking, Mum. I swear;

– I’ve just pissed myself;

– I knew I should have worn flats.

And from an older passer-by: ‘Oh lord, there are some sights that once you’ve seen them, you can’t unsee them!’

Roll on Longitude 2020!