Silver Linings?

Silver linings?

When I badly hurt my back two days after Sara’s wedding, I struggled to think how this particular cloud could have a silver lining. In Spain with my kids, my usual physiotherapist obviously not available, the fear of the terrible pain that I know can come after this kind of injury, all led me to feel there could be nothing good come of this.

But 24 hours later, when I opened the door to the local physio who does home visits, I suddenly saw the light! There he is, an Adonis, pools of chocolate brown eyes, and something that made me want to step into his arms and just have him enfold me.  I cannot believe this man is going to have his hands on me for the next thirty minutes!

After the brief explanations and clarifications, it’s down to the knickers and plenty of heaving and pulling. For part of this I am allowed to retain my itsy bitsy t-shirt, and for other aspects of the treatment that has to go too. He takes my arms, my legs, my head, in his strong confident hands and rotates them gently, massaging, stretching, easing.

I am conscious only of demonstrating to this gorgeous man just how bendy I am. He frequently checks in with me on my pain levels, and whether the stretching is too much. My answer is always ‘that’s fine, keep going’. I am determined to prove just how supple and flexible I am, despite the fact that I haven’t been able to stand straight for two days.

With one leg in the air, the flat of my foot parallel to the ceiling, I suddenly wonder how well my last wax job is lasting.  When my arms are pulled above my head I deeply regret not having showered before he arrived. And with him wrapped around my bent knees, rocking me side to side, I remember that my toe nail varnish is badly in need of repair.  Despite all this, I can’t help but smile to myself as I listen to his gentle murmuring and feel the warmth of his hands.

He spends some time helping me to focus on my breathing and diaphragm and eventually stands back, runs his fingers through his thick dark hair (with just a few grey wisps at the side for that distinguished look) and takes a deep breath.

‘Your back difficulties are emotional’ he states in a low, rich voice. ‘Your diaphragm is connected to your spine and that is connected to the muscles where you have your pain. You are not breathing properly because you carry too much. You need to learn to forgive’

I can’t believe what he’s saying. Can’t he just give me a deep tissue massage? Anywhere will do!

‘You must learn to forgive others but also to forgive yourself. This is too much for you to bring everywhere with you’.

My eyes mist over as he finishes his treatment, i swallow a sob as i try to focus on the exercises he tells me to do.  He wishes me well in his gorgeous, resonant voice, and as I stand at the door watching him go, I wipe away a tear of thanks for being understood and for sending this amazing man to help heal me.  I won’t ever see him again, but his words will linger, even if his hands didn’t!